One day while picking up supplies at a local store, I saw a young boy running down an aisle with a large toy in his hand. He wasn’t creating a problem, but as his mother came around the corner and grabbed him, I could see that she was thoroughly upset with him. She grabbed him and the toy and with great irritation separated them. She threw the toy on the shelf and turned toward the boy, grasped both of his shoulders, and started yelling in his face.
I can’t remember the exact words, but what she said went something like this. “When will you ever stop being a problem to me? You are one of the most unruly and undisciplined children I have ever seen. I’ve had all I can take. I’m not putting up with you anymore. You’ve never done anything right. You’ve always been a problem and as far as I can see, you will never amount to anything.” Now, the boy was just being a child and didn’t seem to be a problem. However, the parent created a scene in the store and the child was thoroughly humiliated.
The Word says in Proverbs 18:21 that death and life are in the power of the tongue. This parent was unknowingly speaking death into her child. Sometimes we wonder why children turn out the way they do. Of course, they make good and bad choices; however, as adults and parents we should do everything within our power to help our children make the right choices.
Jesus gave us a good rule of thumb for parents and guardians to follow. “Whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be removed and be cast into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that those things he says will be done, he will have whatever he says” (Mark 11:23).
Because of this spiritual principle, it is extremely important that we speak blessings over our children rather than cursing. We must speak what we want our child to be rather than speaking out of the irritation of the moment.
Not only does God have a plan for our lives as adults, but God also has a plan for the life of every child. It’s our duty and command from God to nurture and train our children in such a way that it will be easy for them to choose God’s plan for their lives.
The words never and always are powerful words. If you use either of these words in discipline, then make sure that they line up with the Word of God. Yes, God wants us to discipline our children, but we must not cross the line and condemn.
Godly discipline will develop self-esteem and nurture love. Condemnation will create rejection, hurts, and offenses that can last a lifetime.